


Uncle of the Year

by notoneforreality



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Clint and Phil are little brats, Gen, Magic, Tony Stark is Uncle of the Year, Tony and kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 20:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7136498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notoneforreality/pseuds/notoneforreality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony does not like his tower being infested with kids, but they still make him Uncle of the Year. Neither of them remember this after the fact</p>
            </blockquote>





	Uncle of the Year

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TyJaxReaper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyJaxReaper/gifts).



Tony blinks because since when was there a child in the tower? Said child is giggling wildly while perched on one of those industrial light fixtures that Clint had fitted in his room and the light is swinging dangerously. He squints to try and avoid the periodic blinding light shone into his eyes every time the fixture swings up towards him and tries to work out where the bird brain. He calls once — the kid shrieks with laughter but doesn’t move — then doesn’t bother shouting again because with his aids in, Clint has ears like a hawk, too, so he’s probably taken them out or turned them off again. Tony scowls and steps through the door he’s been lurking in, narrowing his eyes at the monkey-child who was now hanging across the light on his belly like some sort of limp fish so he could droop over and watch Tony. Tony takes another step into the room, keeping his eyes on the kid, then glances around quickly before zooming back to the kid again. The grin across the child’s face is far too creepy for Tony to even begin to describe, but then he’s distracted by Natasha striding into the room.

“Clint?” Tony’s about to tell her that Clint isn’t in here, but then she looks up at the kid and crosses her arms. “Clint you have three seconds to get down here. One…two…”

“Wait, what the fuck?”

Natasha glances sideways at Tony, but keeps her attention on the boy, who is now scrambling down one of the wires on the light. The kid takes the momentary lapse in full concentration to try and dart past Natasha, but she snatches him up off the ground and sets him on her hip. He wriggles, but she ignores him and turns around.

“Phil? Oh, for fuck’s sake. James! Where did Phil go?”

Natasha huffs and stalks back out of the room, this time with the kid still in her arms. Tony stares after her.

“Ms. Romanoff seems harried.”

Tony jumps and most definitely does not yelp because he’s a grown man, and glances down to find another child at his elbow.

“Why is my tower infested with small humans?” Tony asks, not even bothering to hide the despair in his voice because he’s asking one of the aforementioned small humans the question anyway which is already a good indication that it’s not okay.

“Ms. Romanoff said we could stay here until we could get to our families. Clint said he only had a brother and he didn’t know how to find him, but he seems to be enjoying himself here. Ms. Romanoff knew my mother’s safecode, she said it would be safe here.”

Tony takes in the small tucked in white shirt and smart grey trousers. The look is completed by patent leather shoes. Tony presses a hand to his head. Only one kid could pull off the accountant look.

“Phil?”

The boy’s eyebrow raises, but he doesn’t startle. Of course.

“You know me too? I don’t remember anyone here, but they all seem to know me.”

“Yeah, they would. Hey kid, would you mind coming to get Natasha with me. You heard she’s looking for you. Why did you disappear in the first place?”

“You interested me.”

“Of course I did. Just, please come on? I need to find out what the fuck is going on. I mean, uhm, what the fudge is going on? I’m sorry, I don’t really know-“

“It’s okay, Mr Stark. I’ve heard worse.”

“Oh, uh, well then. Natasha?” Tony leaves Clint’s rooms and starts down the corridor, but halts when he feels a pressure in his hand. He looks down at the small hand in his own, then at the kid. The kid — Phil — seems to read him, because Coulson could always read his mind, and asks Tony if he’d prefer he let go, if he was uncomfortable with it. Tony blinks, then shakes his head slightly and carries on to the elevator, intensely aware of the joint hands that lag slightly behind him as Phil tries to keep up with him.

“Natasha why are there tiny Clints and Coulsons running around in my tower?” Tony shouts the question out to the kitchen at large, even though it looks empty, and sure enough, Natasha-con-Clint materialise in the middle of the kitchen. Tony only flinches slightly. Phil, the little shit, doesn’t so much as blink, and he hasn’t even known Natasha for two days.

“There you are Phil. How did you get away?”

The Agent-Coulson-vague-smile-of-superior-amusement™ had apparently been cultivated from a young age.

“Tasha, an explanation would be nice.”

“They were out on a mission trying to detain a civilian who found an oh-eight-four and developed powers. They succeeded but managed to get hit with a de-aging spell.”

Tony sighs. He’s annoyingly aware that this was probably Pepper’s default state around him when she lived with him and had to deal with him twenty-four-seven. Since the Avengers happened, Tony finds there is so much more shit that can possibly happen than he ever dreamed of. Most of the time he delights in being the one causing the shit, but he draws the line at kids.

“Uncle Tony!” Clint suddenly decides to half-launch himself at Tony, and he recoils. This is why he draws the line at kids.

“No, nope, nuh uh, no way. I am not a responsible adult-role-model-parental-type-figure in any child’s life, even if it’s only for — how long is this going to last for?”

Natasha grins wide and deadly at him.

“A week.”

Clint beams up at Tony from where he’s wrapped around his leg and Tony wants to run or scream or kick them out or something.

Phil squeezes the hand that he’s still holding on to and smiles and Tony sighs. It’s going to be a long week.

 

* * *

 

“Why the fuck am I in your bed, Stark?” Clint shrieks at three o’clock in the morning six days later.

“Go the fuck to sleep, Clint. Or you’re grounded again.”

Clint stares as Phil sits up on the other side of Tony, who’s lying sprawled face-down in the middle of the bed.

“How did we get into your room?” Phil asks.

“Fucked if I know. Because you two little brats are J.A.R.V.I.S.'s new favourites and you can’t leave Uncle Tony alone for five fucking minutes.” Tony grumbles into the pillow without even opening his eyes. Phil and Clint share a horrified look over his back. “Just go to sleep. You’ll be back to normal in the morning.”

“Back to normal?” Clint mouths but Phil looks just as confused as he is. Clint shrugs and lies back down. He’ll find out when he doesn’t feel like he’s been put through a blender twice.

 

In the morning they find out why Tony’s wearing pyjamas that declare him ‘Uncle of the Year’. 


End file.
